I don’t get it anymore.. Please explain!

16,000 kids, most of which are living in their own delusional fantasy land auditioned in Nashville last weekend for the new season of American Idol. All hoping for that one chance to make it to the bright lights of Hollywood. Apparently, their is no other way to get here! And last night, 10,000 more Milwaukeean’s had their chance to show that they got more than just cheese and beer soaked brats on their minds. All this excitement for a reality show that had to cancel 7 tour dates in 2010 for a lack of ticket sales. Fighting the idea that the size of these audition turnouts are all just because they dropped the age requirement from 16 to 15 this year. I truly wonder if it’s really just that these kids & young adults are just getting more desperate to escape their true destiny of working full-time at their local KFC while living in a van down by the river. On top of that, I’m sure the fact that their just aren’t that many X-Box scholarships out there to go around is becoming a big concern for these dreamers of instant fame and fortune. What will they do when mommy starts charging them rent?

Well, for the 25,965 wannabe’s that didn’t get that little yellow ticket to Hollywood this week. And you’re finally done having your ‘My life is Over’ melt down. I offer you this one piece of advice. American Idol is not the only way to get to Hollywood.  Why just the other day I saw audition notices for that ABC show Wipeout in the local trades. So, if your singing ability just isn’t cutting the mustard lately. How about taking a few smashes to your noggin or groin for your chance at fame and fortune? Just a thought! It may knock some sense into you in the process.. Singing ain’t for everybody and a good whack to the groin caught on camera can make you just as big a celebrity in your home town!

Or how about you just come to Hollywood & get a job like the rest of us did, then follow your dream! But you should always have a Back-up dream. Sometimes that first dream you have just isn’t realistic. So don’t wait for 4 puppets at some table to tell you that you suck and you can’t come to Hollywood. Dreamers and bad singers are always welcome anytime here. You don’t need permission to ride this ride. Just save enough money for your bus fare home! We don’t need any more beggars.

This has been a Public Service Announcement by:  Mr. Usuc

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1 Response » to “American Idol – Attack of the iCan’t Sing Generation”

  1. c says:

    Mr. Usuc- Yes, you truly suck. You fail at life too.

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