Gooood afternoon aspiring Hollywoodites! It’s Monday, people, and I can not wait to get the work week started! Yes, I’m lying. It’s kind of a Hollywood thing.

Anyway, let’s get right to it… I got a cute letter from a Kelly B. in Colombus, Ohio so I thought I’d share it with you….

Kelly writes;
Dear Lord of The Dark Rooms,
Hollywood entertainerMy 18 year old daughter recently informed my husband and I that the boy she likes is an “entertainer” and wants to move to Hollywood to be in the business and that she thinks she might want to go too and be a digital artist. I love her dearly but she can barely drag a jpeg into a Word document so I won’t hold my breath for her there. I digress though; back to the entertainer… My husband has never really liked Noah so this sent him over the top. Our first question was ‘what the hell does entertainer mean?’. Well, it turns out that not only is Noah an actor and musician… he’s also a juggler! Wow, a triple threat. Juggler???!! Really? Who does that, and how can my beautiful daughter be attracted to it?  Anyway, needless to say, my husband has been making slurs and has been noticeably upset ever since she told us this and I think it’s only a matter of time before he says something to crush my poor baby’s

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Get Smarter People : Hollywood Socializing / Hollywood Networking / Hollywood…
Hollywood Social IconThe last time I wrote you I offered the advice of having an ace up your sleeve technology-wise in order to separate yourself from the post production pack but this time I want to focus on something on the other side of that coin. (See prior advice here) And let me be the first to say, it’s troubling… I mean, am I old school or just plain old? Maybe both. But hey, I do still look good. Feel free to look me in the eyes when we meet and say so. That never gets old. Anyway, I want to touch on the fact that today’s budding youth is suffering tremendously in the face-to-face, interpersonal skills department, and in post production you need to work with people in tiny windowless rooms for long

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Hi again… your favorite Uncle, Mr. Hollywood Oracle, has asked me to offer you readers, and potential peeps moving to LA, some helpful bits this week. And I’m like, oh you want me to give away for free what you’re trying to sell? Oh, OK… good plan. Uncle Oracle is very thoughtful like that. Anyway, it’s all in the family, so here you go:

Dead pixelsMuch like being a well rounded professional athlete, post production gear and personnel need to be versatile, and knowing how to use said versatility is key to securing a gig, and more importantly, keeping it. So, think of  a top marathoner. Dude can run 4 minute miles, but he weighs like 97 pounds soaking wet… and speed without power isn’t worth much. Now think of a track star. Super fast and two tickets to the gun show. Now that guy might some day be a star in the big leagues. OK, get the picture? Good. Now let’s assume that you’ve got it goin’

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Hard Work Can Get You Paid Yo


Now… here’s a little story I’ve got to tell
About three bad brothers you know so well
It started way back in reality
With a PA, an AE, and me – BG!
Been postin little shows from A to Z
Just me, and my PA, and a tired AE
Riding cross the land, kicking up sand
Exec Producers on my tail cause I’m in demand

Hello? Is thing on? Am I alive? I can’t tell anymore. It’s all artifact video signals, 1k ghost tones from the past and error messages from the future… but if I am still kickin, still in record mode and not in the matrix, then hello there Hollywood Hopefuls!

It’s good to be back online with you. But like I said, it’s been a technological bear at the studio and people are freaking out. My bosses must be hitting their time of the month (cost reports) because they are ON ME BIG TIME about every little thing. Executives, I tell ya… they are all knowing. Haven’t you heard? I mean who could ever doubt the genius of a tiny head lacking blood flow because their Armani neck accessory is too tight? Yes ma’am, of course sir… do I think that’s silly? Oh no, no, boss…

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